ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
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So often, I get people asking for my secrets, praying to some god to give them what I have, asking me for my Photoshop brushes, joking that I must have sold my soul to Satan, that I must be cheating somehow, asking what programs I use in hopes that there is some magic "art button."
I'm sorry but...... No.
There are no secrets. No god and no devil had anything to do with it. There are no magic Photoshop brushes. There is no magic art button. There are no magic programs that will do the work for you. You can get Poser- some of the images that come out of it are lovely and if that makes you happy, fine. But if you want to do more than play with 3D paper dolls, to make your own art, to realize the wildest imaginings of your dreams exactly how you see them....
THERE. ARE. NO. SHORTCUTS.
Do you know how I got here?
WORK.
Lots of it. Maybe I have some inborn talent? I don't know. But really, it's mostly WORK. You want to get good at something? Want it more than anything else. Need it. Need it to the point where you feel worthless without it. Tangle it up in your self-esteem, so much so that when you fail, you want to die and when you succeed, you feel like you've conquered the world. NEVER be satisfied. Never become complacent. Try new things as often as you can. Listen to people when they correct your technical mistakes. Don't listen to them when they tell you your aesthetic is wrong- you'll figure that out on your own.
Start with no armor. Everything will hurt- every criticism, every jibe, every jest, every poke, and prod will go straight through to your heart. Your armor will build up in time but don't let it get too thick. Doubt yourself and be sure of yourself at the same time. Know your tools. Try new tools. Don't throw your tools away just because some snotty asshole doesn't like them for whatever ignorant, stuck up reason. Ask for help when you need it. Don't dismiss unsolicited advise offhand, painful as it can sting sometimes. Don't be afraid to let others influence you. Scrutinize other artists' work. Dissect it. Figure out what they did right and wrong. Ask yourself why you like it or don't like it.
That is my life as an artist. That is what I have had to go through to get here, at least.
There are no shortcuts. There is no easy way. If you want it badly enough, you'll fight for it and you'll keep fighting until the paint you slop down on your canvas looks exactly and precisely like what you see in your mind. If you want it badly enough, you will find a way.
But don't ask for my "magic Photoshop brushes." That's just insulting. Make your own. Learn how to do it. You'll see that the brushes, convenient as they are, still don't do the work for you. It's not magic. It's not rocket science either. I didn't sell my soul to Satan. I figured this shit out the hard way and I think you can too if you want it badly enough. You've just got to be willing to fight for it and have the strength to not give up when the doubt rolls in.
</rant>
So often, I get people asking for my secrets, praying to some god to give them what I have, asking me for my Photoshop brushes, joking that I must have sold my soul to Satan, that I must be cheating somehow, asking what programs I use in hopes that there is some magic "art button."
I'm sorry but...... No.
There are no secrets. No god and no devil had anything to do with it. There are no magic Photoshop brushes. There is no magic art button. There are no magic programs that will do the work for you. You can get Poser- some of the images that come out of it are lovely and if that makes you happy, fine. But if you want to do more than play with 3D paper dolls, to make your own art, to realize the wildest imaginings of your dreams exactly how you see them....
THERE. ARE. NO. SHORTCUTS.
Do you know how I got here?
WORK.
Lots of it. Maybe I have some inborn talent? I don't know. But really, it's mostly WORK. You want to get good at something? Want it more than anything else. Need it. Need it to the point where you feel worthless without it. Tangle it up in your self-esteem, so much so that when you fail, you want to die and when you succeed, you feel like you've conquered the world. NEVER be satisfied. Never become complacent. Try new things as often as you can. Listen to people when they correct your technical mistakes. Don't listen to them when they tell you your aesthetic is wrong- you'll figure that out on your own.
Start with no armor. Everything will hurt- every criticism, every jibe, every jest, every poke, and prod will go straight through to your heart. Your armor will build up in time but don't let it get too thick. Doubt yourself and be sure of yourself at the same time. Know your tools. Try new tools. Don't throw your tools away just because some snotty asshole doesn't like them for whatever ignorant, stuck up reason. Ask for help when you need it. Don't dismiss unsolicited advise offhand, painful as it can sting sometimes. Don't be afraid to let others influence you. Scrutinize other artists' work. Dissect it. Figure out what they did right and wrong. Ask yourself why you like it or don't like it.
That is my life as an artist. That is what I have had to go through to get here, at least.
There are no shortcuts. There is no easy way. If you want it badly enough, you'll fight for it and you'll keep fighting until the paint you slop down on your canvas looks exactly and precisely like what you see in your mind. If you want it badly enough, you will find a way.
But don't ask for my "magic Photoshop brushes." That's just insulting. Make your own. Learn how to do it. You'll see that the brushes, convenient as they are, still don't do the work for you. It's not magic. It's not rocket science either. I didn't sell my soul to Satan. I figured this shit out the hard way and I think you can too if you want it badly enough. You've just got to be willing to fight for it and have the strength to not give up when the doubt rolls in.
</rant>
An Odd Thing
An odd thing happened to me awhile ago. It was not profound or magical or worldview-changing- just odd. A few weeks have passed and I’m still not entirely sure what to make of it. One early midsummer evening, I sat on my front porch eating an overdressed salad to a serenade of suburban working class dads all mowing their lawns in unison. A splendid breeze conveyed aromas of lilac and freshly mown grass under a subtle mist of gasoline. The weather was almost unseasonably cool for mid-August- a perfect reason to eat outside and avoid the ever-fulminating chaos inside. I lazily munched on soggy greens while watching a chipmunk dart around under the bee-harried hydrangeas. It was nice. Twilight approached in a phalanx of rose, gold, amber, and lavender led by a vanguard of opalescent cumuli. One by one, the mowers retired, leaving an almost eerie hush in their wake. Much to my gratitude, a breeze eventually broomed away the unpleasant stink of gas. Where the mowers left
State of the Sh!tshow Address #2
It's been a fair few months since my mother died and I'm sad to say that things are not going well. My family always ran like a fucked-up, co-dependent but basically functional jalopy. I was the front wheels. My primary jobs were chores, errands, and working as a commission artist. My BIL, Daniel, was the back wheels. He's developmentally delayed but he's a good boy, capable, and he worked hard. He was responsible for some chores and errands and taking care of his wife (my younger sister) and their child, both of whom are also developmentally delayed. My stepfather, the breadwinner of the family, was the engine. I cannot overstate how pivotal this man has been in keeping the shitshow afloat. I don't know anyone who deserves a long, happy retirement more than him. And then there was my mother, the driver. She steered the shitshow down the long and winding roads. Some months ago, my mother died. Lung cancer. I have been through some next level shit- various kinds of abuse, a murder
State of the Sh!tshow
Bad things happen to everyone, right? That's life. Shit happens. There's always another shoe waiting to drop. I'm sure that's what it's like for most people. We adapt, we deal, we move forward. It's all we can do. But sometimes, I feel like I'm trapped in the midst of a shoe monsoon and I'm not so much waiting for other shoes to drop as I am waiting for the next steel-toed boot to bean me upside the head. My brother in law was just admitted to Montefiore in the Bronx. They think he may have an extremely aggressive form of cancer, possibly leukemia, myoma, or both. We don't know yet. My poor sister is having to go through this only a few months after having lost our mother to cancer. Daniel was a lynchpin of this family and now that he's down for the count, I'm having to step into a lot of the roles he had taken on. I will still be putting out art. That is my job. It is my reason for living. But please be patient. Big, high-detail pieces may take a little longer. I've been thinking
That last journal may have been a lil premature?
Turns out being the primary caregiver for two developmentally delayed adults, their child, ten cats, a disabled stage-4 cancer patient in extremely poor health, and a household, is a LOT more to deal with than I anticipated. Don't get me wrong, I knew it was going to be a lot. Just not quite this much. I don't want to gripe about specifics because (a) we'd be here all day and (b) I don't want to spill that particular tea if I can help it. Some of it's pretty scandalous. All I can do is promise that I'm working towards trying to find some equilibrium in my life and when that happens, there will be more artwork and more activity on my Patreon. That said, addressing my Patrons specifically: If anyone wants to go, please do so guilt-free. I don't want anyone feeling obligated or guilted or anything like that, especially since I've been putting out so little recently. Believe it or not, my biggest problem right now isn't money. Er... not exactly? Let me put it this way: A lotto win would
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Wait. . . but you . . .stilll COULD . .. sell you soul to avoid the work, right?
Thanks for this. Sometimes we just need that kick in the butt =w=
Thanks for this. Sometimes we just need that kick in the butt =w=