Stock used: [link]

Me: On the way to Olive Garden with my family I noticed a stray unplucked hair on my upper lip. Well, THAT'S embarrassing. So I'm like shit! What do I do!? Being the clever lass that I am, I used the corner hinge of my glasses to tweeze it.

Satan: Fascinating.

Me: Later that week, I saw my sister doing the very same thing! She stole my idea! >:{

Satan: Well, you know what they say; necessity is the mother of stealing someone else's idea.

Me: You've got to admit, that was pretty clever of me. *smug*

Satan: Yet you aren't clever enough to suss out that boobies make anything a MILLION percent more interesting. When will you learn?

Me: Anything? Really?

Satan: Yes, anything. Example: Synchronized swimming: -117% interesting. Synchronized swimming with boobs: A MILLION percent more interesting.

Me: Can boobs make boobs more interesting?

Satan: Does not compute, system failure, stand by for immediate shutdown. *crash*

Jesus: *Appears in a cloud of smoke* THAT WAS AWESOME!!!! WTF did you do to him!?

Me: I think I sent his mind spiraling into an infinite boob-logic regression sequence.

Jesus: Well fancy that. You'll have to pardon me. I think now would be the most opportune time to go do this whole "Second Coming" thing I've been putting off, seeing as how the opposition is presently occupied with infinite spiraling boobs or whatever.

Me: Going to smite some heathens? *Dons smite-resistant helmet.*

Jesus: No, heathens don't bother me. Them crazy fundamentalists do though. They've been embarrassing the fuck out of me for way too long. They could use a good smiting... or ten.

Me: You should add boobs to the Second Coming. According to Satan, a lot more people would find it interesting.

Jesus: Yeah but whose boobs can I use? They must be boobs of righteousness that glorify god's holy splendor!

Me: Mother Teresa?

Jesus: Does not compute, system failure, stand by for immediate shutdown. *crash*

Me: Whoops.

________________________________________________
________________________________________________

On Accusations of Copying James Cameron's Avatar

I am writing this as a response to the people who accuse me of copying James Cameron’s Avatar. It is an accusation I receive frequently enough and to an extent that I feel necessitates a response. This will be copy-pasted in its entirety to anyone hereafter who levies this accusation against me.

Polite response: James Cameron and I share common aesthetic preferences. This is evidenced by the fact that I have been using an Avatar-like aesthetic for over a decade before the film was even advertised to the general public.

How I really feel: If you think I am copying James Cameron’s Avatar, you are an idiot. That is all. The End.

What? You want me to elaborate? Sorry, I’m not fluent in Fucktard and I don’t feel like translating my thoughts on the matter into a format you morons can understand i.e flailing, drooling, and face-desking. The case is there and BEYOND readily apparent for anyone (who isn’t a complete moron) to see. I’m not going to spoon feed lazy ignoramuses information they can ascertain simply by LOOKING WITH THEIR EYES. Example: [link] This was created long before Avatar came out or was advertised. Therefore, I could not POSSIBLY have been copying Cameron’s Avatar. Furthermore, I have pages of Navi–like characters in a pile of artwork from THIRTEEN years ago. Would anyone like to explain how I could have RETROACTIVELY copied James Cameron over 10 years before Avatar was even advertised to the general public?

If you can’t make the distinction between copying and sharing a common aesthetic: “Nerp, derp… derby-derber, nerby-dorp, NnnggahhhAAYyyyy derby-durp, *drool* nerby der *face-desk*.” There, that should make sense to you.